Wednesday, July 26, 2006
We have a hilarious book called The Stinky Cheese Man And Other Fairly Stupid Tales . On the title page Jack (Jack and the bean stock) the narrator says
"I know. I know.
The page is upside down.
I meant to do that.
Who ever looks at that
dedication stuff anyhow?
If you really want to read
it you can always stand on your head."
Here is the introduction:
A long time ago people used to tell magical stories of wonder and enchantment. Those were called Fairy Tales. Those stories are not in this book. The stories in this book are almost Fairy Tales. But not quite. The stories in this book are Fairly stupid Tales. I mean what else would you call "Goldilocks and the three elephants"? This girl walking through the forest smells peanut porridge cooking. She decides to break into the elephants ' house, eat the porridge, sit in the chairs, and sleep in the beds. Bu when she gets in the house she can't climb up on baby elephants chair because it's to big. And she can't climb up on papa elephant's chair Because it's much to big. So she goes home. The End. And if you don't think that's fairly stupid you should go read "Little Red Running Shorts" or "The Stinky Cheese Man." In fact, you should definintely go read those stories now, Because the rest of the introduction just goes on and doesn't really say anything. I stuck it on the end here to fill up the rest of the page and make it look like I really knew what I was talking about So stop reading now. I mean it. Quit reading. Turn the page. If you read this last sentence, it won't tell you anything.
That is the introduction and here are my two favorite stories:
"I know. I know.
The page is upside down.
I meant to do that.
Who ever looks at that
dedication stuff anyhow?
If you really want to read
it you can always stand on your head."
Here is the introduction:
A long time ago people used to tell magical stories of wonder and enchantment. Those were called Fairy Tales. Those stories are not in this book. The stories in this book are almost Fairy Tales. But not quite. The stories in this book are Fairly stupid Tales. I mean what else would you call "Goldilocks and the three elephants"? This girl walking through the forest smells peanut porridge cooking. She decides to break into the elephants ' house, eat the porridge, sit in the chairs, and sleep in the beds. Bu when she gets in the house she can't climb up on baby elephants chair because it's to big. And she can't climb up on papa elephant's chair Because it's much to big. So she goes home. The End. And if you don't think that's fairly stupid you should go read "Little Red Running Shorts" or "The Stinky Cheese Man." In fact, you should definintely go read those stories now, Because the rest of the introduction just goes on and doesn't really say anything. I stuck it on the end here to fill up the rest of the page and make it look like I really knew what I was talking about So stop reading now. I mean it. Quit reading. Turn the page. If you read this last sentence, it won't tell you anything.
That is the introduction and here are my two favorite stories:
The Really Ugly Duckling:
Once upon a time there was a mother duck and a father duck who had seven baby ducklings. Six of them were regular-looking ducklings. The seventh was a really ugly duckling
Everyone used to say, "What a nice-looking bunch of ducklings - all except that one. Boy, he's really ugly."
The really ugly duckling heard these people, bu the didn't care. He knew that one day he would probably grow up to be a swan and be bigger and look better than anything in the pond.
Well, as it turned out, he was just a really ugly duckling. And he grew up to be just a really ugly duck.
The End.
The Other Frog Prince:
Once upon a time, there was a frog.
One day when he was sitting on his lily pad, he saw a beautiful princess sitting by the pond. He hopped in the water, swam over to her, and poked his head outof the weeds.
"Pardon me, O beautiful princess," he said in his most sad and patheitic voice. "I wonder if you could help me."
THe princess was about to jump up and run away, but she felt sorry for the frog with the sad and pathetic voice.
So she asked, "What can I do to help you, little frog?"
"Well," said the frog. "I'm not really a frog, but a handsome prince who was turned into a frog by a wicked witch's spell. And the spell can only be broken by the kiss of a beautiful princess."
The princess thought about this for a second, then lifted the frog from the pond and kissed him.
"I was just kidding," said the frog. He jumped back into the pond and the princess wiped the frog slime from her lips. The End.
3 Comments:
LOL! I love it! I have actually heard of the story of "the stinky cheese man" from one of my friends! She loved the story so much, she memorized it word for word! see, your story's are becoming known! soon you'll be as famouse as the brothers grimm!
-Melindsay
: D
Reading is fun. This looks like something really fun to read.
Hi there, I just read and reviewed this book on my blog and linked to your review as well, I hope you don't mind. I love this book and I came across your review on the Semicolon Reading Challenge and it reminded me to dig it out and read it again! Thanks!!
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